In praise of Supermoms everywhere: Take your Me time

The photo at left is an actual photo in the  news today.  What a nice one-handed grab.

You’ll find it interesting that in the life coaching we do, almost every woman coaching client with a weight problem is otherwise, in every regard, a supermom — with one or many children needing attention, a business to run, or a demanding job to go to, a home schooling mom or a full time care provider.  She’s frequently a concerned, nurturing caregiver to at least one and often several other adults.   Splitting her time wearing many different hats, making do with less than is needed, stretching a budget, fully present for her family, and in every other regard just an exemplary mom.

Except in the area of providing an example of health.   And thus except in the example of giving herself an excellent chance of being around to enjoy her children’s children.  Thereby perhaps giving everyone she cares for the impression that the more responsible you are, the less you take care of yourself.  Passing along to them a disregard for their own well-being.

It’s a serious fact that many of us are so giving and so poor at taking.   Allowing yourself to be served and cared for to is part of that, as is allowing yourself to take your own time is the completion of it.  Your family actually wants you to take time for yourself, and actually does understand that mom needs her time too.  This applies just as well to you dads who are pouring in much more than the traditional dad role.

Here’s a little strategy we give people in coaching.  You can use it too.  Today, tell your family you’re doing a program that requires you to have 60 minutes of time to yourself each day, to get yourself healthy.  You may actually have to pay a babysitter if you can’t find someone in the network of people you’re supporting who is able to fill in for you for an hour.  Take that time to, minimally, take a 30 minute walk, spend 15 minutes figuring out the health improvement you’re going to initiate that day, and spend the other 15 minutes doing nothing, just enjoying the day.  Then throughout your day, find every opportunity to slip away for some self-care moments … it might be as simple as listening to your music instead of theirs, spending your drive time filling your head and heart with what you need to hear from a great audiobook, then later in the day phoning a special friend for no good reason at all other than to share life with someone else.  Whatever it is that you’d otherwise let slip in the process of being supermom or superdad, take that hour to do those things.  Then tomorrow, repeat.  You’ll find that time becoming more and more important to you, and finding time for yourself will be less of a struggle and more of a gift.

Take your Me time.  Your family will be better because of it.